polyrhythm
by The Loser Lord
Summary: canon. anthology series. drabble 3: the true face of hatake kakashi, possibly the eighth wonder of the world...and his students had yet to actually see it.
1. team 7, forever d ranked

**title: **polyrhythm  
><strong>summary<strong>: canon. anthology series. could you believe it? there was the legendary _team seven_, executing their impressive skills…o_n weeds_.  
><strong>genre: <strong>general. humor.

**notes: **um, i've been reading doujinshi for the past four hours and am now inspired. some team kakashi fluff and, if you squint, sasusaku for ya'll.

**forever d-ranked**

"Sasuke-kun, I'm sorry, but you totally _suck_ at pulling weeds."

"Shut up, Sakura."

"Hey _teme_, don't tell Sakura-chan to shut up!"

"_You _shut up too, you moron."

Sasuke wiped the sweat off his forehead and scowled at the unearthed soil; could you believe it? The legendary _team seven_, executing their impressive skills…

…_on weeds_.

Ugh. The nerve of Tsunade, that old hag. Sasuke began to wonder if this was his punishment for leaving the village and, you know, becoming an international S-ranked criminal, slaughtering hundreds of thousands of shinobi and associating with the _Akatsuki_.

"It's been a _freaking _year and a half already, damn it!" Naruto whined, throwing a patch of freshly-pulled grass on the ground, "_Can't we do something more kickass?_"

Sakura scoffed and lay back, her short pink locks swirling around her head in the grass.

"Um, no. Since you both decided to go on a two year field trip, three for Sasuke-kun, you both are now behind the rest of the rookies," she responded. "Kakashi-sensei's not even _near _considering you both to take the Chuunin exam again."

Sasuke grimaced. He could imagine taking the exams already: that Nara Shikamaru and Inuzuka Kiba, mocking him as he took a Chuunin exam.

'_Hey Uchiha! Make sure you don't cheat, or you'll have to walk Akamaru again_! _I'm sure since Akamaru's a shinobi hound, it will be a C rank!_'

He honestly didn't know which was more degrading: having his own _peers_ and _comrades_ serving as his proctors during a Chuunin exam or having to execute another stupid D-ranked mission in front of the entire village.

He was an _Uchiha_!

He spits fire and shoots lightening out of his arm; he has a scowl mean enough to curdle _milk_. His sharingan could tell him that Naruto was going to do something stupid before the jinchuuriki knew it himself!

Speaking of Naruto, that moron, he should also feel the same way! But alas, the Child of Prophecy looked right at home jumping off the branches into his large pile of _grass_, not weeds.

"And what were you doing?" Sasuke asked Sakura crossly. "Surely, you weren't training since all you've done is scream and cover your face."

Sakura sat up and raised a pink brow at her dark-haired team mate.

That arrogant little…

She contemplated slapping him for good measure.

"I could punch your face, if you'd like," she offered sweetly, "At least I'm a _chuunin_." Sasuke shot the kunoichi a quizzical look, questioning her cheek.

It was new; well, it was new coming from _Sakura_.

Naruto's head popped through the top of his pile and he grinned widely, "Yeah, do it, Sakura-chan! I've never seen teme get in trouble before!"

Sakura snorted and smacked Naruto upside the head, "You aren't done pulling."

Naruto frowned, but he dove to the bottom of his pile; he was summoning a few _kage bunshin_ to help with the workload.

The breeze rolled through the forest and silence fell upon Sakura and Sasuke. They both exchanged an acknowledging glance and continued with their mission, working closely with one another.

"Anyway, I'm glad you are okay, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn. Thank you, Sakura."

.

.

.

"Well done, Team Kakashi. Your next mission is, uhm, _oh I have one right here!_ Just came in too. Inuzuka Kiba has been busy with Chuunin Exam preparations, so you three have to take Akamaru for a walk."

"_I think the universe hate us, teme, Sakura-chan_."

"Don't worry, since Akamaru's a shinobi hound, I'll bump the rank up to a C."

つづく

**notes: **i've never really written real _drabbles_, so i've decided to take a whack at it. anyway, i came up with this concept when watching the first season of naruto. like, shippuuden naruto and sasuke aren't chuunin, right? so when things stop being a hot mess in the manga and sasuke comes back to the village, the three of them are gonna be stuck doing d-ranks. haha.

review please (:


	2. team 8, babysat

**title: **polyrhythm  
><strong>summary<strong>: canon. anthology series. team kurenai had been put on babysitting duties for three days. that's three days of incessant crying and holding that smelly, squishy-faced _monster_.  
><strong>genre: <strong>general. humor.

**notes: **i have been showing the rather pathetic sides of naruto's characters, but i find it rather enjoyable.

**babysat**

"Uhm, K-Kiba-kun?"

"Huh?"

"I don't think you're holding h-her correctly."

'_Waaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!_'

.

.

.

"Well how am I supposed to hold her then!"

Kiba and Hinata were both _flustered_. One would think that with two members of renowned clans such as the Hyuuga and Inuzuka, the two would be able to take anything on easily.

However...

"Damn it! She keeps _crying_!"

Babysitting was not a mission the two had anticipated. Kurenai had suddenly been summoned for an S-rank three days before and Shikamaru had to attend to his diplomatic duties as Gaara, Temari, and Kankurou were back in Konoha.

Team Kurenai had been put on babysitting duty for _three days_.

That's three days of incessant crying and three days of holding that smelly, squishy-faced _monster_. Hinata was much better at tending to Kurenai's child than Kiba, but she could only keep it up for so long.

_What was the child's name anyway?_

"Why are we even doing this mission? This is Sasuke and Naruto's job!" Kiba growled.

Akamaru had curled up in the corner long ago, sleeping off the headache the little girl had given him.

Hinata turned pink at the mention of Naruto's name, but she kept her composure; or lack thereof. The dark-haired child in Kiba's arms struggled and fussed; she cried and cried and no one knew why.

"P-Perhaps, she misses sensei?"

Kiba scoffed and rocked the kid, "Well, that's just too damn bad, she won't be back for another two days," he looked down at the baby and met familiar crimson eyes, "You hear that kid? Your Okaa-san won't be back for _two days_. _TWO_!"

'_Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!_'

"K-Kiba-kun!"

"And where the hell is Shino! Is he trying to get his ass beaten!"

.

.

.

'_Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_!'

Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Sai, Ino, and Choji all looked up at the apartment the wailing was coming from. The group occupied all the stools at Ramen Ichiraku and were chatting among themselves when they heard it.

"Ne, ne, what d'you think that was?" Naruto asked. Ino and Choji both looked at each other, knowing very well of the pain Kiba and Hinata were enduring.

"You don't even want to know." Ino answered darkly.

The window flung open and Kiba jumped out with a wrapped bundle in his arms, Hinata and Akamaru followed suit and the three landed across the street from Ramen's Ichiraku.

The baby had stopped crying.

"A-Ah, um, Kiba-kun! We need to get back up to the apartment, t-the baby's crying will -"

"The baby will keep its mouth shut." Kiba barked.

Hinata, not wanting her hot-headed team mate to, you know, drop the kid, took the child from Kiba's arms and cradled her against her chest. The two sighed in relief at the sound of silence.

Ino and Choji were at their sides immediately.

"_You managed to shut her up_?" Ino asked. "It's difficult for Shikamaru to do that!"

"This child is a devil child!" Kiba answered hotly. "She's been crying for three days straight and I think I've gone deaf!"

Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Sai approached the babysitters; Naruto gaped, "Hey, hey! _You two have a baby?_ What? I didn't even know that you were together!"

Kiba raised a brow at his idiot friend and Hinata turned red in the face, "N-Naruto-kun! That's not it! This is K-Kurenai-sensei's baby; we have to babysit her."

Sakura shook her head at Naruto; did he forget that Hinata had almost died for him right _after_ she told him that she _loved_ him? No, he would probably remember that part a little later.

Poor Hinata.

And right when Hinata finished her rather flustered explanation, the child woke. She looked at Hinata's face and grabbed her long dark hair; she yanked and Hinata squeaked from the sudden tugging.

"_Ow_! No, baby, y-you have to let, _ow_!" the child laughed at Hinata's reaction. Ino twisted her own long mane in her hands, silently sympathizing with the victim.

"What's her name anyway?" Naruto asked, "I've never seen her before."

The four open their mouths to answer and then snapped it shut. "Um, _we don't know_."

Sai walked closer to Hinata and the child; he bent down to their height and smiled sweetly, "I read in a book that you must smile when handling little children."

"If you want, give it a try," Kiba offered, "You too, Sasuke. You know, since you have to 'rebuild your clan' and whatnot."

He grinned and sent a suggestive glance to Sakura and Sasuke; the latter scoffed and turned away while Sakura's face reddened instantly. She cleared her throat and also faced away.

"Idiot." she muttered.

"Hn. That kid's giving you enough trouble as it is, Kiba, so I'm not even going to comment," Sauske answered.

"Technically, you just did." Naruto corrected, earning a glare from his best friend. Naruto laughed sheepishly and stopped when he realized something.

"Hey, where's Shino?"

Hinata and Kiba shrugged.

And then, they suddenly cringed as a new chakra appeared. Everyone shivered as Shino emerged between his team mates; he too was holding a bundle of blankets.

"Hold your baby in the crook of either arm, slightly inclined. Steady him with the lower part of your arm and your hand. Use your free arm to give him a bit of extra support where needed," he said, "That is how you're supposed to hold an infant."

"Where were you?" Kiba snapped. "Hinata and I have been watching that brat for three days now!"

Shino faced his two team mates, his stare fixed on the child Hinata was holding. He then looked down at the bundle he held and then shook his head.

"What?" Kiba asked.

Shino stepped back and then kicked the child out of Hinata's arms. Everyone became drained of color and gaped at him. "_Shino, what did you just do!_" Kiba asked.

Hinata ran after the child, who was surprisingly quiet, she dug through the blankets to check if the child was unharmed, which was, at this point, hard to believe.

She couldn't find anything.

Everyone shot Shino and quizzical glance and he offered the gurgling baby to Kiba, who hesitantly took her in his arms.

"Genjutsu," he said, amusement apparent in his tone. Hinata and Kiba gaped and looked at the infant suspiciously; she smiled back at them sweetly.

She was a _child_. Certainly, this wasn't possible. But she was _Kurenai's _baby...

...honestly, regardless of who cast the genjutsu, one thing was certainly apparent to the young shinobi.

"Kiba-kun? W-We just got babysat, didn't we?"

.

.

.

"Ne, Sakura-chan, Sai, Sasuke, that looks like fun. D'you think Kakashi-sensei or Yamato-taichou will have a kid?"

"You have as fat a chance as Kakashi-sensei putting down his books."

"Hey Ino, it's you guys' turn next week."

"Shut up, Kiba. Don't remind us."

つづく

**notes: **i always thought it would be funny to see asuma or kurenai's students babysitting the kid. i don't know if it is a girl, though it is rumored that kishimoto was considering making the baby a girl. and i didn't want to give her a name because this is post-canon.

review please (:


	3. team 7, unmasked

**title: **polyrhythm  
><strong>summary<strong>: canon. anthology. the true face of Hatake Kakashi, possibly the eighth wonder of the world...and his students had yet to actually see it.  
><strong>genre: <strong>general. humor.

**notes: **my favorite naruto filler is the episode when naruto, sakura, and sasuke follow kakashi to see what he actually looks like.

**unmasked**

Four shinobi stood together, staring intensely at one another. Naruto grinned at his team mates.

"So? How about it?"

"Naruto, we already tried that, and it didn't even work."

"Sakura's right. Besides, Kakashi will know what we're up to."

Sai looked between Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. He wondered what the three were planning out on their only day off. Shouldn't they be training? If it weren't for Sai, they would have definitely _failed_ that last D-rank.

(They had to capture Tora; that fugitive cat who was caught at least once by every genin in the village. Most of its owner's money _must_ go to retrieving the poor animal).

"But it's different this time!" Naruto protested, "We're stronger _and _we have another team member."

Sakura and Sasuke looked at each other, both unconvinced, but, knowing Naruto, he would continue to plead his case until they agreed; Naruto and his stupid 'Will of Fire'.

They sighed and nodded in agreement.

"YES!" Naruto rejoiced, "Now, we start. Mission: Rip of _both_ layers of Kakashi-sensei's mask is a go!"

"Not so loud, stupid."

"Oi _teme_, it's my mission, so I'll _scream_ the name if I want to. Bastard."

.

.

.

The four shinobi found it odd that the one day they decided to go to the supermarket for a stake out, _every _single ninja in the village would be there, grocery shopping.

It was a humorous sight; people running across high shelves and on the ceiling of the market. Some would teleport instantaneously between the aisles rather than walking around, like a normal person.

"Okay, Sakura-chan and Sai, you two head to the back half of the market and Sasuke and I will cover this area. We won't rest until we see his face!" Naruto declared.

Naruto dove behind a shelf; Sasuke shook his head at his best friend and followed. Why must he be so dramatic about _everything_?

'_Waaaahhhhhhh_!'

"HINATA. SHUT HER UP, I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!"

"Kiba, you must rock the child back and forth; that is how you calm a child."

"Shino, if you don't shut your _ungodly_, lopsided mouth - "

Well, team 8 was also in the market, struggling with Kurenai's child. How long have they been watching her anyway? Naruto appeared on top of the cereal shelves and waved for Sasuke to follow.

This kid...

...was insane.

"C'mere, Sasuke!"

"Naruto. Get _down_."

"We're gonna fail the mission if you don't follow orders."

"You're gonna fall."

Naruto scoffed and jumped up and down on the shelf, "No, I won't look it's perfectly sa_AAARGHHHHH_!"

'_Waaaaaaahhhhhhh_!'

"Ack, _NARRUUUTOOOOOOOOO! Damn it, you scared the kid!_" Sasuke ran a hand through his shocked of black hair, irritated with Naruto. Already causing so much racket after just _one minute_.

"Is Kakashi's face even _worth it_?" Sasuke muttered to himself.

Sure, this task wasn't one of Sasuke's important ambitions in life, but it was one of those mysteries that would attract _anyone's _attention. The true face of Hatake Kakashi, possibly the eighth wonder of the world...and his students had yet to actually see it. Sasuke really wanted to see what his teacher looked like.

He had better see something worth gauging his eyes out for if they were going to go through such trouble.

.

.

.

"Ah, Sakura, Sai! What are you two doing here?"

"Ka-Ka-Ka-Kakashi-se-se-sensei!" Sakura stammered; she mentally slapped herself. Way to go Sakura. Stuttering nervously in front of your teacher is _totally_ normal.

"Hello, sensei. Sakura and I are gathering materials to make homemade ramen with Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun. You know, as a team building activity." he explained smoothly.

Sakura couldn't believe this guy. Lying through his teeth shamelessly like that. And what's worse is that Kakashi actually believed him!

Damn Sai and his fake smiles.

"Oh? Ah, how nice is that? My adorable students cooking together," Kakashi was smiling. He ruffled Sakura's hair and walked past her and Sai, "Well, have fun you two! Try to stop Naruto and Sasuke from blowing up the village, okay?"

"R-R-Right! We won't!" Sakura said, saluting to her teacher. Kakashi lazily waved and disappeared behind a rack of canned tuna. Sai turned to his pink-haired team mate and smiled again; as usual, his beaming was _fake_.

Sakura felt a vein pop in her temple out of pure irritation.

"Ugly, you're a terrible liar."

"_Hey Sai, c'mere for a second_."

"Hm?"

"_Take that! Shannaroooooo!_"

.

.

.

Sasuke twitched as he approached Sai, who was buried underneath what was once a beautiful display of canned tuna. Sakura was still huffing like a bull by the time Sasuke had reached them.

"Sakura, what happened?" he asked carefully. The pink-haired kunoichi snorted and kicked Sai's limp foot - _since when had she gotten that violent? _- Sakura was obviously angry. It had been the first time that he had seen Sakura angry at someone else other than Naruto.

He found it quite fascinating, actually.

"Sai was being stupid, that's all." she responded gruffly.

Sasuke glanced at the victim of Sakura's monstrous temper and then ran a hand through his hair. He sighed and Sakura stopped seething, "What, Sasuke-kun?"

"We are never going to get this done."

"Sure we are, teme!" Naruto, sporting a few bruises and bandages, jumped over Rock Lee - who was reaching for canned spinach - and stopped in front of Sasuke. "We just need _stealth_."

Sakura raised a brow, "Naruto. You're wearing _orange_."

Naruto snorted indignantly and folded his arms, "So? Teme is wearing white. And besides, we're super amazing shinobi. Remember, Sakura-chan?"

It was then Sai's turn to intervene with the painful truth.

"Naruto, you and Sasuke-kun are still genin."

"And besides, if I now know what you lot are up to, then your mission is already in shambles." another voice interjected, shining some light to their newest predicament. Naruto nodded in agreement and froze. Sakura, Sasuke, and Sai's eyes widened as they took in the sight of their teacher smirking smugly from underneath his masks - _two layers_.

"Ka-Ka-Kakashi-sensei!" everyone - excluding Sasuke - gasped. Kakashi coughed and gripped his shopping basket tighter; he was smiling, and no one could really trust Kakashi's out-of-nowhere smiles. It was similar to Sai smiling. _Fake_.

"If you wanted to know," Kakashi said, coughing again - was he catching a cold? - "you could have asked, you know."

"We don't want to see your second mask, Kakashi." Sasuke mumbled; Sakura nodded in agreement and Kakashi let out a chuckle. He reached up and pulled the first mask down, revealing the mask of a lighter color. As he reached to pull down the final layer, Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto, who were more interested than Sai, inched closer and closer to their teacher.

"Under this mask is..." Kakashi began.

'_Under this mask is_...' the three thought in unison, almost invading Kakashi's personal space. Kakashi smiled and his eye was reduced to a small slit, fully yanking down the second layer.

"Another mask!"

To their extreme dismay, Kakashi was wearing a third mask, a surgical mask, probably because of his worsening cough. He laughed again when he students fell over, all four of them feeling the defeat of their efforts.

"I don't want anyone to catch my cold, so I'm wearing this, y'know...just to be careful."

Another win for Hatake Kakashi.

.

.

.

'_WHY DO YOU NEED ANOTHER MASK? YOU ALREADY HAVE TWO, THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE CAN CATCH YOUR COLD!_'

'Hn. You know what they say dobe: only idiots catch colds in the summer.'

'That's really stupid, teme' _achoo_!

'Do you want a mask too, Naruto?'

'_NO. NOW GET YOUR THIRD LAYER AWAY FROM ME_'

つづく

**notes: **i wanted a shippuuden version of this. mmhmm. for counterclockwise readers: i'll be releasing the fourth chapter sometime this week. i've also published a new story, called the social game. check it out!

thanks for reading. reviews are always appreciated (:

till next time!


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